I Don't Want to Be Loved - Chapter 8 - Wanting His Love

Chapter 8: Wanting His Love

Ironically, it was Rihannan who benefited from the marriage contract after death of her mother.

“You had a choice back then. You could have refused to marry mother… you could have given up the fame and riches to be with your loved one. Maybe you and mother might be happy. I wouldn’t have been born either.”

For the first time, Rihannan voiced her thoughts out loud.

Her father was a selfish man. He had a fair choice handed to him –– for fame and wealth that he could never achieve in his lifetime, he’d need to forget his old lover and at least… at least learn to love the woman he would marry. That was the duty of a man, to care and love his wife and daughter even if his heart was occupied with another woman.

It was an easy choice to make.

But he didn’t.

He had an affair and a child with another woman.

Perhaps it was best her late mother died before she learned the truth.

“Your mother was a scary woman who had driven her away without my knowing! If it wasn’t for her, this kid wouldn’t have suffered so much!”

The Count bellowed.

Rihannan’s eyes glued to Leticia, the girl clinging to the count.

“Mother already knew the child existed?”

She asked, staring coldly at Leticia.

“Yes. She paid Emily a handsome fortune. She was pregnant at the time and she was already dead by the time I found her. And Leticia, she grew up a miserable life in an orphanage. This is all because of your mother!”

Rihannan pursed her lips, suddenly recalling what her mother said to her.

She placed Rihannan on her lap. Stroking her silver hair and talking to herself, she said “It’s better to be unhappy by his side than to be apart and never knowing him. I don’t regret anything…”

Rihannan bit her lip.

“If you feel sorry for her… feed, dress, and give her a roof over her shoulder with your own money, not mother’s money!”

“How dare you speak to your father like that…”

“No, you’ve never been a father to me. At least in memory…”

Rihannan was grief-stricken.

***

“Rihannan, would you please ask the Queen to let Leticia enter the palace?”

And so she did, wanting to earn his praises.

After a year of marriage between Rihannan and the King, rumors spread in the court that there was no news of pregnancy and that the King and Queen weren’t getting along. That, and the scandalous rumors of the king falling in love at first sight with Leticia’s beautiful appearance at the royal ball at the invitation of her sister, Rihannan.

And one day, her father came to the struggling Rihannan asking for a favor.

“You are the Queen of the kingdom and you’ve yet to bear the King a child. Wouldn’t it be nice if your sister could do it in your stead? Besides, considering Leticia’s status, it’d be difficult for her to take your position. You won’t have anything to worry about. If you cooperate well with Leticia, all will be better and your position as Queen will be further solidated.”

***

“You’ve never been a father to me…”

She wanted to be loved, wanted his love, to walk alongside her and hold her little hands, to teach her things, to keep her safe from the scary world, to give her guidance… to do things a father should do… but all he ever did was leave nothing but scars and questions that haunted her at night.

Rihannan searched for that kind of love from him and she struggled so much, so very much to even receive a piece of his love, but the end result was her downfall…

And so she decided she won’t love anymore. She won’t be the daughter who’ll beg her father for a relationship. She deserved better than this. If it’s a love she’ll never receive, then she’ll throw all remaining inkling of it away.

“I’ll say it again, take her out of the house. Right now. Or I’ll have a servant drag her out.”

“How dare you…”

At Rihannan’s warning, the Count was frenzied.

He shouted to the old butler beside him.

“Jeffrey! Grab that child and lock her in her room right now! I can’t bear to see her speaking to me like this. I can’t believe I raised a child like that! I’ll have to give her a good whipping!”

But his orders was met with silence. There was no response from the old butler, only staring at the Count blankly.

“Jeffrey, what are you doing? Did you not hear me?”

The old butler shook his head slightly.

“But Count, according to the documents, it’s quite obvious that the owner of this mansion is the Lady.”