Violet Evergarden - Chapter 17

Translator – Dennou Translations

Writing letters was similar to singing tunes.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance. I rush anywhere my customers might desire. I am from the Auto-Memories Doll service, Cattleya Baudelaire.”

Such was the pet theory of a certain Auto-Memories Doll, and she truly did think that way.

“Well, I’m going to begin, okay?”

Singing required people to put together a scenario in their heads, and therefore, it was also similar to painting.

“‘Mert, have you been doing fine? Thank you for the letter. Your letters are encouragement for me.’”

The moment she would take a breath to begin writing was when she would start singing.

“My, I mistyped. Let’s do it over.”

Once the recipient received the letter, how would they react? How would they feel about those words?

“It’s natural that you want to tell him to study hard… but if that occupies most of the letter, it’ll get tiring. Your younger brother was pushed into a boarding school, right? It doesn’t look like he’d have much fun there, so I think it’s better to take the direction of saying that he’ll grow up the way you did and become free from home if he puts effort into his studies. But if we write about you praising yourself too much, it’ll get boring, so let’s be moderate. All the more if you want to receive a reply.”

She would picture it in her head.

“Well, then, on from where we stopped.”

There was a beginning and an end to melodies. How they could differ from being remarkable or otherwise gently cheerful depended on the song she was playing, but from the start to the middle, things would gradually become more exciting.

The typewriter’s noise was the piano. The rustling of the fountain pen was the violin. Lastly, the clatter of the cymbal would ensue, bringing it to an end.

“How’s that?”

The finished letter turned into a living being. Each sound of each word danced about, and human vitality could be felt in the smell of ink. The letter had become a story.

Cattleya Baudelaire performed her ghostwriting in that fashion.

Auto-Memories Dolls and their customers were world-building cooperators that created the tales, music and images called “letters”. The more time they spent together and the richer the contents of the letters were, the closer their hearts would be to one another. However, there were people who would reach that level at once, even within an unusually short span.

“Would you… accept going out with me?”

Such as that client.

 

Cattleya Baudelaire

 

As of late, a certain establishment was popular in Leiden, the capital of Leidenschaftlich.

The owner of the building that used to be a reception hall had reformed it into a space where people could enjoy sweets and music – “Café Magnolia”. The citizens of Leiden admired the place, in which one was only finally allowed to enter through waiting for a month after having made a reservation. It was a desired spot where people would have their eyes watering at the decorations of the marvelous interior and could bask in the music of pianists whom remained there constantly.

The players changed depending on the day and hour. Perhaps because a place where young musicians performed was also a place for seeking patrons, the age range of the visitors was wide.

As they let out emotional sighs, it would seem that Cattleya and the one sitting with her were the youngest in the shop. Just as the rumors had it, the prices in the menu handed to them were high, but as they saw the dishes brought over, they understood the worthiness of the investment. Money could hardly purchase the emotion instigated by a three-level cake stand.

She and her companion decided to pick the items they liked one by one. Firstly, after much indecision, she chose the apple pie. Excitedly bringing closer the plate of apple pie that was next to her, she thrust her fork into it. Upon having one mouthful, she realized that it was what she had wanted. Eating something sweet inside a warm shop was the true pleasure of winter.

Lux Sibyl, who sat across her, was unable to lay her hand on a chocolate cake even as it sat in front of her. It looked extremely delicious. Cattleya wanted to eat it.

As the waiter had brought the cakes in the middle of their conversation, the topic cut off completely at the good part.

“Cattleya, and then what?”

“This is the best… Ah~, really~, thanks for hanging out with me, Lux! Isn’t this place so expensive? Besides, you can’t finish a three-level stand if you don’t love sweets. Everyone told me no, but isn’t that stupid? You’d have to be pretty dumb not to eat this, right?”

“Yep, I think it’s a wonderful shop. Well, then, Cattleya—”

As if to interrupt Lux as she at last uttered those words, Cattleya continued, “By the way, have you heard? Didn’t the President buy some land? Like, the one he made into a base for our production factory. They say there’s a legendary waterfall near that village. If you bring home a stone from the bottom of the water, your dreams come true… How about we go together next time?”

“This kind of legend is no use if you go with someone, right? But that’s not it, Cattleya. I want to get back to the previous topic.”

Putting a sugar block processed into the shape of a star in her tea and mixing it, Cattleya answered, “Ah, the talk about me getting asked out, was it? Yep, I declined.”

“EH~~~~~~?”

Cattleya found herself thinking about strange things, such as how the sugar must be feeling good if it was melting in that kind of tea. It might be that her head was in a daze from the sudden ingestion of too large an amount of sugar. Or was the problem that the two were currently talking about actually the one to blame?

“That’s ‘cause he told me it was on the condition of marriage.”

It was not the first time Cattleya Baudelaire was proposed into a romantic relationship, but that had been the first person to make her conscious of marriage ever since she had been born.

“EH~~~~~~~?”

“Lux, you’re noisy.”

As her voice had indeed been loud, Lux put both hands over her lips after restlessly scanning her surroundings. “Is he that person who came by the company?”

“Right. That person who came by the company is him.”

“I have the feeling he was a cool guy… He’s a bit older than you, but that’s also charming, so to say.”

As Cattleya told her to eat up, Lux finally brought the cake into her mouth. While chewing without uttering her impressions of it, she waited for Cattleya’s next words.

“Lux, you sure enjoy listening to other people’s love matters even though you yourself aren’t in a relationship, huh?”

“I do. I mean, it’s still early for me to be into that stuff, so it’s like an encounter with the unknown…”

Lux Sibyl had the title of president’s secretary, but her figure as she spent her time so peacefully was that of a little girl. Moreover, she had lived most of her life being controlled by a cultist organization, and so she was most certainly a novice to everything. There was no mistaking that Cattleya’s was one of the problems in the textbook of romance between women and men.

“I want to try it one day too, but right now, I want to listen to other people’s stories. Okay, go on.” Lux’s heterochromatic eyes were full of curiosity.

“He runs a perfume store here in Leiden. He’s a perfumer. His name is Chris. I passed by his store a while ago and it seems to be doing well. He also looks like a good man; his face isn’t bad and he’s got a soft demeanor. That’s right, he seems like he’d make a good husband if he got married. He’s a man that women get attached to.”

“Cattleya, don’t you like him?”

Being asked so, Cattleya was deep in thought. Between choosing if he was either her type or not, she would say he was. However…

“I wonder. I don’t really know. He feels different from what I tend to like.”

…the face of one person surfaced in her mind.

“The one I like isn’t a person who’d fall for me, huh.” She rested her chin on her hand and sighed.

“Aah, President Hodgins. Indeed, I think it’s impossible with him. Not because it’s you, Cattleya, or anything of the sort. It’s because the President plays with fire where it won’t harm the company, so with fellow members, that’s… He’s the sort of person who experiences romance in a properly logical way. He just likes romantic relationships and women, so he doesn’t fall in love.” As expected of someone who was always together with him from morning to night, Lux, who usually gave gentle and modest responses regarding other people, described the individual named Claudia Hodgins with her merciless side.

“Hm~. That’s right. President Hodgins. He does give off that feeling after all, doesn’t he?”

“He does. I think President Hodgins is probably waiting for a fated person. It feels like he won’t marry anyone if this person doesn’t show up… But a woman that President Hodgins would throw everything away for and dedicate himself to is just…”

“What about Violet?”

As the name of the friend that both of them had in common was mentioned, Lux made an X with her arms. “Eh~, Violet is his family already. Besides, Violet has… that man.”

“Is that so? I see. It can’t be her.”

“Right, can’t be her. That’s why I told him that I think there’s no such person in the world.”

“What did President Hodgins say?”

“He told me, ‘Little Lux, that’s horrible; I’ll take it out of your pay’. He pretended to be crying.”

Cattleya was able to imagine it and burst into laughter. Lux did not manage to hold back either and giggled with a “huhuhu”.

While the conversation became lively, a second serving of black tea arrived. The next cake she picked was a tart decorated with fruits and candy sculptures. It was expectedly delicious. She wanted Violet, who had come into the topic, to try it as well. She had not seen the latter in a while.

Violet was the most demanded Auto-Memories Doll. She was currently somewhere around the continent. It would have been great if she were present.

“Y’know, I’ll say this because we ended up talking about it… I declined dating him, but I accepted going together for a meal… with Mr. Chris.”

If Violet Evergarden were in that place, what would she have said in reply to Cattleya’s statement?

“Have you become friends with him?”

——Yeah, feels like she’d ask something as off-handed as that.

Although she was not Violet, Lux had a good reaction in her own way. She moved her chair with a clang, pitching forward. The three-level cake stand interfered with the distance between the faces of the duo.

“W-Why? I-Is this the beginning of a for-fun relationship? Cattleya, you do that kind of stuff?”

As it was quite a misunderstanding, Cattleya denied with impressive vigor, “Wrong, wrong! I may have these looks, but I’m pure-hearted when it comes to romance, y’know? What I said when I rejected him was that I couldn’t date on the premise of getting married to someone I didn’t know very well… so the talk turned into ‘then please get to know me’… The other was a client, so I couldn’t strongly refuse him.”

“Eh~, how rare. Isn’t it so Cattleya-ish to firmly tell the people you don’t like that you don’t want it? Were you feeling ill?”

“Oh, Ms. Lux. That’s badmouthing, isn’t it?”

“It would be badmouthing if I were giving a critique, but as a friend, I like that unwavering side of you. Besides, I think that’s essential for Auto-Memories Dolls. Aren’t the female Auto-Memories Dolls actually wooed all the time by the costumers? Like, have you heard the rumors about that girl from the Guardian Company?”

“The one about how she was going to fall into the hands of some big-name politician, but her postman boyfriend showed up climbing the slope, chased him off and confessed to her in the end! I know it! That one really makes my heart race!”

“I get you! To top it off, those two were childhood friends, they say. My, honestly. Isn’t that romance novel level?”

“I really like the climax where he goes, ‘She’s mine~’. From that book you lent me, I mean.”

“The ‘Chronicles of the Star Knight Order’? From the part where the protagonist offers her body to the grandmaster? Chapter three of the second volume?”

“That one~! It’s very similar to what happened. Huh, aren’t we getting off-topic?”

“We are. Sorry, I was the one who deviated from it… Ah, this cake is delicious.”

As the flow of the conversation between the two women turned into a commonplace one, they decided to calm down for a moment.

Cattleya helped herself to a third cup of tea. The pot became empty, and so they requested seconds to a fine-looking waitress.

Customers who ordered the three-level cake stand had free second servings of either black tea or coffee. Cattleya deemed it a good arrangement. Such thoughtfulness was important. She was already starting to think about whom she would come with on her next visit to the place.

“Cattleya, is it okay if I eat the scone?”

“Sure thing. It’s plain, though, but is it tasty?”

“I like it a lot. Might like it more than cake. That’s right, the continuation. When is your date?”

“It’s tomorrow.”

“EH~~~~~~~?”

“Lux, you’re noisy.”

“That’s ‘cause…” Lux protested, her face red. “Hey, hey, if… if you end up thinking after this date that going out with Mr. Chris wouldn’t be so bad, it’d be a date on the premise of going out, wouldn’t it?”

“It would for him, but I…”

“Cattleya, if you don’t have that intention, it’d be fine if you didn’t go, right? You’ll go, won’t you?”

“I will…”

“Then, tell me the results, ‘kay?”

Being asked so with a grin, Cattleya replied with a “if I feel like it”. Lux gave her a sullen look.

Cattleya took her eyes off the complaining Lux, watching the scenery out the window. The roadside trees that would have been filled with fresh verdure if it were summer, their frames devoid of any leaves and completely naked, as well as the outdoors where cold winds blew fiercely appeared somewhat sad. The people walking on the streets had their backs arched, holding the collars of their coats together.

She could also see the figures of postmen running their motorcycles around. Despite not thinking that it was him, Cattleya wound up leaning her body over the window to take a look. It indeed was not him. The other did not have blond hair, and even from far away, she could immediately tell that he had a completely different face and body. He just happened to also be a postman.

“What’s wrong?”

Cattleya had overreacted to a mere postman. Upon being asked the question by Lux, she answered with “nothing”, her voice sounding as though her heart was not there. She sat well-mannered back on her seat.

“Hey, what happened, really?”

“I thought it might be him.”

“Hm? What?” Lux asked again, perhaps not having heard it well.

Puckering her lips, Cattleya answered, “Benedict.” Her tone was prickly.

With an “ah”, Lux soon understood what she had been attempting not to say. Tilting her neck a little, Lux giggled, “Feels like it’s been a long time since he left, huh… Whenever I see someone in the city turn around the corner on a motorcycle, I also find myself thinking that it might be Benedict. Everyone asks me if there isn’t any correspondence from him yet like it’s an every day thing.”

“Aren’t there any letters or postcards from him?”

“Nothing… Hey… Cattleya, today’s the first time you’ve asked about that, right…? Ever since Benedict reported a leave of absence.”

Almost like a child being scolded by an adult, Cattleya dropped her gaze. “Can’t I…? I-I used to fight with him a lot, but we’ve been buddies since the founding days!”

“I didn’t say you can’t, Cattleya.”

“He’s really heartless. He told the President and Violet that he was stepping away from the company!”

“Yup.”

“Even though… Even though I was also there from the start…!”

“Yup. Makes you lonely, huh?”

Lux’s honesty precisely described the feeling that Cattleya had been trying to hide. She was lonely. Except, if she were able to say it, she would not be puckering her lips and spouting complaints.

“I don’t wanna say that I’m lonely even if my mouth splits!”

Cattleya Baudelaire was not that kind of woman.

She pierced a cake with her fork and forcibly thrust it into her mouth. She chewed it, downed it at once with tea, and violently pierced the cake again. It might be that she thought of the cake as if it were Benedict.

“It’s already been three months. Winter is ending and it seems like spring’s about to arrive, huh… Yet the President doesn’t let anyone touch Benedict’s motorcycle… I also haven’t removed him from the employee name register.”

Hearing Lux’s words almost as consolation for her, Cattleya puffed her cheeks. “I’m not lonely!”

“Hm-hm.”

“The President’s being himself too. Simply lets an employee leave when he asks for it without knowing when he’ll be back.”

——I’m a disgusting fellow.

Although the truth was that she did not want to be defaming him, she detested having her feelings exposed.

“Even if he comes back just like that, I won’t talk to him. ‘Cause he left without talking to me,” she spat out her negative emotions as a distraction. She basked in the kindness of Lux, who laughed as if troubled by hearing that.

She had been pondering over someone to listen to what she had to say today in that place. She had chosen Lux.

Lux said gently, as if to soothe her, “I’d be happy if he came back, though…”

It was almost as if she represented Cattleya’s inner thoughts.

“I’m someone who started working there midway, but I think he’s a good person, though he has a foul mouth. After I was brought in by Violet and hired to work under President Hodgins… the one who’d come talk to me every now and then almost looking concerned was Benedict. He’s nice to girls younger than him. Besides, thinking about the company’s management as the President’s secretary, he’s needed. There’s never enough people in the postmen personnel. Many of them soon quit after being recruited and employed, so people like Benedict, who roam around a lot even while complaining and have leadership skills, are really important staff. He should be involved with the company’s management in the future. As the spokesperson of the employees, that is. I’m sure our administrator, the President, feels this way too. Also, Cattleya, there was no helping that you didn’t know. I mean, you were far away because of your Auto-Memories Doll work. It might be that Benedict had wanted to tell you but couldn’t. No, surely he wanted the number of people he had to say goodbye to to be small. Looks like something really terrible happened to him. Violet and the President won’t tell me anything, though. But the two said he’d come back, and Benedict himself has that intention too, so maybe he didn’t say it on purpose. Isn’t he the kind of person who hates sappy stuff, that guy? Let’s wait for our selfish Benedict. I’m also one of the people that he didn’t say anything to.”

Whispered slowly in a quiet and lovely voice, the prolonged statement pierced straight into her chest. Rather than the contents of what was spoken by Lux, Cattleya was stunned at the excessive broadness of her views and the wideness of her heart’s capacity. Lux was a girl younger than her, but could almost be thought of as her mother.

“Why do you have to be such a good kid…?”

She wound up feeling miserable about how immature she was despite being the older one in their afternoon tea party.

After that, they left all sorts of things aside, fooling around and going on a stroll for the first time in a while. They went through bookshops and adorable general stores, as well as fashion boutiques for their respective differing tastes. Whenever the clerks asked, “Are you sisters?”, they would laugh and answer, “We’re colleagues and friends”.

As sunset time came about, they headed to the office, holding several shopping bags. Cattleya tagged along with the diligent Lux, who claimed she wanted to get over with at least a little of the work that she had left undone the previous day.

With nothing to do, Cattleya went to the president’s room. Hodgins was absent, a cactus and small potted plants sitting on the president’s desk instead with an odd sense of displacement to them, as well as a note that used them as paperweight. “Business and dinner. Be back at night,” it said. As she showed it to Lux, the latter deciphered, “This means going out for dinner with the woman he’s making a move on lately” with a displeased face. It seemed he would in fact properly come back at night. That much was a given, for he had his residence in the company.

The two had dinner together afterward and split. As they had talked so much, although she bid her farewells cheerfully, Cattleya felt lonely after walking three steps.

She would be on vacation the next day as well. While dispirited and lonesome from parting ways with someone even though she knew they would see each other again soon, she went home. She spotted a stray cat on the way and gave chase, but did not manage to pet it.

“I’m home.”

Once she sat on the slightly dusty bed of the residence that she did not come back to very often immediately upon arriving, she lay down naturally. She then stirred up with a “shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t do that” and wiped off her make-up.

With her stunning facial features, people frequently thought that Cattleya’s make-up was too dense, but there was actually not much difference from before and after she applied it. As each part of her face had a distinct structure, she would merely look a little younger.

After taking a hot bath, she took out of her closet a negligee that she had bought but never worn and changed into it. Wondering what phase the Moon was in that evening, she looked out the window, but it was not visible. Instead, she could only see the twinkling of a few stars. Dressed in her negligee and brushing her hair, Cattleya eyed the lights of each house. They reminded her that, unlike herself, who was living alone, there were people living in the company of others.

——Married couples are actually amazing, huh.

That form of love, which could be considered a contract carried out all over the world, could not be conceived without a second party. She would probably do it someday. Or so she believed when she was a child, but she had not yet met a man that she would likely marry after having become of age. Perhaps she would never.

——Being with someone for your whole life even though it isn’t a person that you’re in love with would be impossible for me.

Since that was her situation in regards of just marriage, she was even less able to imagine herself having a child. After all, Cattleya thought, she was like a child herself. Even so, as the trends of society were composed in a way that urged her on, she had a vague sense of obligation to do it.

Such sense of obligation caused her to taste a coffee-like bitterness. It was by no means savory.

——I wonder if there’re other girls out there going to sleep with the same feelings as me.

It would be better if not, but she found herself wishing that there were. She hoped said girls had female friends who could tell them that everything was all right.

——I’m glad I have a job.

Working enabled her to deviate a little from the demands that she had as a woman to fulfill such obligation. As she thought about the word “obligation”, it pierced her heart indirectly.

——Benedict didn’t have any obligation to tell me anything.

He had been stuck in her mind all along. Much like a small cut, it ached.

Cattleya had not been allowed into Benedict’s life, plain and simple. Whatever he did was of his own concern. That was all. He was under no commitment to report anything to her.

Nevertheless, Cattleya had intended to get along well with him. They did fight often, but somehow or other, she had the feeling that he was the one she got along with the best. That had been a misunderstanding on her part.

——I’m… always like this.

In Cattleya’s life, it was not one or two times that she had misinterpreted getting along with someone when it was actually not the case.

——‘Cause I’m an idiot.

It might be that everyone was putting up with being together with her.

——I’m… definitely…

Perhaps she was the kind of person who could never become somebody’s significant other.

Thinking about it caused her to feel anxious and sad, tears coming out of her eyes, and so she rolled onto the bed, covering herself past her head with her blankets. Blocking the outside world had her slightly relieved. She pleaded that the morning did not have to come. Her worries and sorrows would all melt away once she was asleep, much like the sugar in her black tea.

——…lonely.

To think Benedict Blue’s absence would make her so weak.

“Give up,” another side of her reveled in her head.

Right. She had no choice but to give up. He was not fond of her and she no longer had room to enter his life.

——I’m lonely.

Rounding up like a fetus, Cattleya fell asleep.

 

As if the coldness of the previous day had been a lie, it was warm out in the next morning. Winter was truly about to end.

Cattleya stared outside by the windowsill for a while, but started dressing up as if to shake something off. She had decided what she would wear since the day before. With the face of the person that she was going to meet in mind, she had picked from her various colorful outfits a white cache-cœur​ one-piece. It was slightly open at the chest, but not as much as usual.

When people with plump breasts dressed into clothes that did not fit the curves of their bodies, it would seem as though they had put on weight and their shape would expand into a different width as suggested by the outfit, almost as if they were clad in papier mache. It could be said that her attire was the best one to show for the first time out of her personal clothes.

She had considered putting on a black cape coat, but as the temperature had risen, she went with a lighter beige-rose gown coat. Lining up her nine-centimeter and five-centimeter heel shoes, she chose a five-centimeter one. They were probably only going to have a meal, but if they happened to go for a walk, nine-centimeter heels would take up time and make her feet hurt. After taking out a clutch bag in which only her wallet and lipstick could fit, she was ready.

As she went outside, the landlord of the rented house that she occupied was sitting on a bench at the edge of the road. She greeted him while passing by his side.

In the residential district where Cattleya lived, there were many elderly people living alone, as well as family households. Having been secluding themselves in their homes out of cold during midwinter, the elders were all strolling around. Caught up in their sluggish way of walking upon observing them, her fast pace reduced.

Going down the alleyway that led to the central part of the city, she could hear the sound of a piano from somewhere. The player was most likely a child, but they had probably practiced quite a lot with the windows closed in winter. The playing was more skilled than what she had heard back in autumn. It gave her an extremely real feeling that people were taking root and living their lives. In her continuous commissions, she would rush about every day, ignoring such scenery and sounds.

“Guess I’ll… quit being an Auto-Memories Doll in the future.”

She found herself wanting to lead an unchanging daily routine in that same city. In that sense, someone who worked in a shop fixed within city lines might be the best relationship partner.

 

As she approached the front of the restaurant that they were supposed to meet at, regardless of it being a little earlier than the arranged time, the person in question was standing there. It was a man of burned-umber hair, with a thin frame but tall stature. He wore a trench coat over a jacket and shirt. He was the perfumer who ran a popular perfume shop in Leiden.

“Mr. Chris.”

A cache-cœur one-piece had indeed been the right pick, Cattleya thought. The restaurant pointed no dress-coats but the clothes that she had chosen instead. Suitable of a port capital such as Leiden, the restaurant apparently served a delicious shellfish.

“Ms. Cattleya. Thank you for coming. It’s warm today, isn’t it?”

“Yes, spring arrived all at once, huh?”

He casually held out his forearm and guided her into the restaurant. Instead of the sweet scent that Hodgins would have, of something like briars within sweet vanilla, he smelled of refreshing greenery.

——I prefer President Hodgins’s scent.

She was fond of the hunger that she felt whenever sniffing it from nearby. Being enveloped by the smell of something sugary gave her a feeling of glee. Today, too, she had actually wanted to eat cake since morning.

——What did he smell like again?

A blond man who had a bad way with words crossed her mind. Putting on cologne was not his taste. He probably did not smell of anything. One day or other, he would be clad in the scent of rain or reek of sweat – he was the type of man who wore his own odor.

“How about we pick our drinks?”

Having been shown to her seat, she scanned the menu. For safety, she chose a fruity wine as her drink. When reflecting on what to eat, she was informed that a pre-determined meal course had already been prepared. They had escaped having to evaluate in order to decide.

——He’s used to this, huh.

He would smile whenever they locked eyes, and so she would naturally end up smiling too.

“By the way, I got a reply from my little brother to that letter.”

“Ah, how was it?”

“More sincere than the usual. All thanks to you being the one who wrote it. We’re far apart in age, so… even though I find him so cute that I can’t help myself, he’s on one hell of a rebellious phase. It’s been hard to communicate my intentions.”

Starting with appetizers, the two ate in sequence each dish served to them as they were brought over.

“Aah… I understand. I’m on the opposite side. I’m the youngest child, and other than me, there’s nine… older brothers.”

“‘Nine’? That’s incredible.”

The conversation did not feel unpleasant. Back when being commissioned by him, she had felt from the beginning that he was someone easy to interact with. Never had he become incomprehensibly angry or flared up at her. Like how a certain someone would.

“My oldest brother was over ten years older than me, and to a youngest daughter with an older brother like that, the eldest son was someone irritating, ‘cause he’d get praised just by showing up at our house while I was always being scolded.”

“I see. But I’ve also had a tough time in the process of my growth.”

She could tell that he was trying to have her enjoy the conversation. He had an adult composure.

“On top of that, Mr. Chris, we think we can’t compare to people like you, who reign over the other siblings as someone who works hard and is successful, and we’re treated as lesser no matter what we do, so it’s even more complicated.”

“I wonder if that’s like what I feel towards my father. He’s a trader, and I’m no match for him at all.”

“Even though you run such a popular store?”

“I have yet to earn passing marks from my father.”

——Did you ask me out because I reached the passing marks to be your marriage partner?

She used the shellfish to push down the words that seemed about to come out of her throat.

“In my family, it’s customary that everyone has a ship of their own. Want to go for a ride when it gets warmer?”

“That ship is probably not like the kind I have in mind, is it?”

“What were you imagining?”

Being asked so, she answered honestly, “A ferryboat.”

That was a small boat used to move from shore to shore. Chuckling, he replied, “It’s a little bigger than those.”

From the way he laughed, she guessed it was probably quite a huge ship.

Cattleya looked at the man named Christ once again. She liked the gentle eyes that peeked from underneath his burned-umber hair and his slow manner of speaking, she thought. He did not lack anything. On the contrary, she was the one full of defects, which made her want to question why he had chosen her as companion for today.

She attempted asking frankly, “Why… did you ask me out?”

Chris showed an aspect of surprise at the prodding into the heart of the matter, but responded levelly without glossing things over, “I often have to be cautious at work, Ms. Cattleya, so I fancy carefree women like you. It’s fun, like normal. Being with you, that is.”

“Aren’t you being super careful right now?”

“It’s not like that. I mean, sure, I’m making an effort so you’ll enjoy yourself. But there’s an ease to it. You probably wouldn’t be too disappointed if I showed you an ugly side of me in this date, right?”

“‘Ugly side’?”

“Like getting pasta sauce on my shirt. Or letting coins spill out of my wallet when paying the check.”

“I do stuff like that too. I’d ask, ‘what are you doing~’, but I’d help you out.”

“That’s it; this much carelessness is just great. The costumers who visit my store have a demerit system, so there’s no mistaking that we need to have them make their purchases with beautiful gestures and with a sense of refinement to it. I used to think Auto-Memories Dolls were also like that, but you were completely different. The moment we met, you greeted me with a cheerful ‘Hello!’. It was also really easy to get advice for the ghostwriting. We’d just met for the first time, but it felt like I was hanging out with some girl who lived in my neighborhood.”

“O-Our most demanded Doll deals with the costumers in an elegant way, unlike me. I’m… I’m no good. Besides, Mr. Chris, there are many girls like that. Aren’t there some of them among the girls that frequent your store?”

“There aren’t beautiful women who are as easygoing and nice as you at all.”

“Is it about my face?”

“You’re pretty.”

“I…”

“Also, you’re cute. You’re probably much competed for, but I wanted to have you, is what I thought. That’s my reason.”

Being told so, in spite of her embarrassment, Cattleya’s chest filled with happiness. She wondered how someone who could give off such a feeling of certainty was single. She could not refrain from suspecting that he had some sort of dubious habit.

“Mr. Chris, could it be that you’ve been married once and have a child or something?”

“I haven’t yet even taken anyone as my fiancée.”

“Do you wander around night after night as a hobby or anything like that?”

“I have a disposition for getting sleepy as soon as I finish eating. I sleep before midnight.”

“Why are you single?”

“You too, why are you single?”

“I…”

“For starters, why do people get married?”

As his intonation changed, Cattleya looked at him sternly.

“There’s many motives, like the connection of a household and another, the continuation of a bloodline, financial assistance and romance, but don’t you think it’s okay not to be shackled by the contract called marriage?”

“Y-You asked me out on the basis of marrying me, yet you say something like that?”

“Sorry, sorry.” With a downcast look, Chris whispered, “How can I put it?” He wiped droplets from his empty champagne glass with his finger. “People around my age are treated like deviants if they aren’t married… but when you’re not blessed with any opportunities to get married, you end up thinking about lots of stuff. Like, ‘What’s marriage about?’. Or, ‘What’s falling for someone about?’. You see, whenever my parents come to my house, they’ll say, ‘My, there’s so much tableware even though you live by yourself’. I just happen to buy a lot of it because I come home tired and don’t wash the dishes for days. It’s not for someone else. What’s the point of getting married when I’m living for my own sake…? I think… and think…”

——The point of being in a romantic relationship while I’m living for my own sake…

“I can lead a life by myself, and my hobby is making perfumes, so I spend my free time secluded in my workshop. I get extremely happy when I pass by women around the city who wear my perfumes. I think I’d get even happier if I had a lover with me, but then the time I have for making perfumes would be reduced. I also think that, if so, it’d be reasonable to find a good person, get married and move in together. But can this be considered genuine love?”

——Being accepting of others while moving on with your own life. This and pure-heartedness just aren’t compatible.

“I… think you’re a wonderful person. I want to try falling in love with you. But when… impurities like having to marry you break into it, I immediately end up finding it stale. Even though I asked you out as a prerequisite for marrying you.”

“Like. I. Said. Why are you telling me this?”

At the slightly fed-up Cattleya, Chris raised both of his hands. “This is the reason why I can’t get married.” With a troubled frown, he kneaded his shoulder. “I dream with romance often. If I’m going to be in a relationship, I want to do it with being in love as the only point to it. Same goes for getting married. I like you, so just not wanting you to be taken by somebody else is a good enough reason. But when it comes to marriage, the pros and cons get mixed up. I also get stumped when I see the profits that the other person would gain by pursuing me. Even when I do get to date someone, my strength runs out before we go all the way. Like, ‘What, so this wasn’t a genuine one either’… But, if it’s with you… maybe even a straight-laced guy like me, who keeps thinking that love has to be done in a certain way, could age together almost as if we were friends… It’s not like I don’t want to fall in love. It’s that it doesn’t go right.” While speaking, perhaps because it had become difficult for him, Chris rested a hand on his front bangs, hiding his face. “For friends, it doesn’t matter much where you live or what you believe in, right? It’s fun to be with each other, and being together just for that reason is what friends are about. I believe I can have this kind of relationship with you… I’m asking you out on the premise of getting married, so I’ve tried… to put it honestly.”

Silence.

“Is that weird?”

“It’s… not… weird.”

——It’s not weird. It’s not weird at all.

“Even if… someone says it’s weird, I won’t.”

——No, I can’t say it.

After all, she was the same.

“Stupid woman.”

There was a voice in her head. A voice that she was yet unable to forget resounded.

“Cattleya.”

He had only ever called her name a few times.

“You, what’re you doing by yourself? Aah? Old Man left you behind?”

——If I’m going to be in a relationship, then let it be for the sole point of being in love.

“He~y, we’re getting complaints. Did you shake the client’s hand too hard again?”

——Because I like you.

“Old Man! Why’d you let her drink!? It was a pain in the ass sending her home!”

——Because I like you. Because I like you. Because I like you.

The feeling of “I like you” rushed about, almost as a revolving lantern. Her feelings for Benedict Blue were like an electric current.

——Why do I like him?

They were impactful and vibrant.

——The person in front of me is definitely better.

The revelation was unlike any other.

——But, I can’t with him.

It was as if it had been thrown into her face.

——Because love…

…was not electricity-powered.

——No matter what country you’re in, love…

…was not written with the verb “to do” but with “to fall”.

——If I still have someone I like, I can’t be in a relationship out of self-interest.

The one Cattleya had fallen for was not that person.

“Mr. Chris… I… understand.”

She could tell why she was unable to fall for the man named Chris at that very moment.

“I understand very, very well.”

She could tell why she should not jump into his life.

“I… understand.”

It went against the love rules of Cattleya Baudelaire. She was in love with Benedict Blue, after all. She had been having a bad feeling the whole time due to inflicting said rules.

——It’s… that idiot’s fault.

She had controlled herself as to forcefully stop being in love. She had made an effort to forget about it. Normally, she did not associate with her clients. Yet she had ended up thinking that she must do so. Because she did not have someone.

One could not be in a relationship by oneself.

“I… get you, so it’s definitely better… if we don’t date each other…!”

Still, if she did not kick off the feeling of being in love, she would surely be stuck with that sentiment forever.

“Mr. Chris, you’re just choosing someone who resembles yourself. I’m like that too. If I’m going to be in a relationship…”

According to Cattleya Baudelaire’s love rules…

“…if I’m going to be in a relationship, I also only need the feeling of being in love!”

…one should go after the other and confess.

The people inside the restaurant quietly regarded the voices of the excited pair. They flickeringly turned their gazes toward the two, but as Cattleya sat down after having stood up with excessive vigor, each went back to their respective conversations.

Dumbfounded, Chris opened his mouth, “You’re telling me that now?”

Tending to giggle, she replied after a moment, “You asked me out on the premise of marrying me, so I spoke honestly too.”

Chris mushily ran his hands through his hair. He then said intermittently, “We might really be alike…” He let out a moan and fell prostrate onto the table.

“I think so. Besides, if we were friends, we’d probably get along super well. Seems like we’d get into arguments too, though.”

“Because we’re alike?”

“Because we’re alike!”

Perhaps finding her bitter smile truly entertaining, Chris snorted and broke into laugher.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m the one who forcefully kept chasing you anyway…”

He called the waiter after that. She thought that he was going to request the check for certain, yet he up and picked a strong drink from the menu. He invited Cattleya to drink something as well.

“Eh, is it okay if I drink too?”

“Of course. Rather, please don’t go home. If you left now, it’d make things even harder. You dumped me the fastest out of the dates I’ve had until now, but the dessert hasn’t come yet and I don’t want to go home. I want to eat it together. It’s tough for a guy who assumedly got dumped to eat a dessert for two all by himself. I’m a sweet tooth.”

Being told so, Cattleya answered merrily, “Me too! But I haven’t dumped you. Nothing even began.”

“Indeed… it feels like it got cut off before it started.”

Oddly enough, the conversation they had afterward went smoothly somehow.

“Besides, instead of the beginning of a love that might end by the middle, Mr. Chris, isn’t the beginning of a friendship where it kinda seems like we’ll get along really well just what you need? In the end, rather than having fallen in love with me, you’re just personally picking someone to somehow satisfy your own dreams and self-interests, right?”

“No… Well… yeah.”

“Self-interest is really no good. Being in love is important.”

“I like you, though, y’know?”

“Give up on me. I’m sure this would’ve turned out as not genuine too. Also, I actually have someone I like.”

As Cattleya said so, Chris finally worked the resolve to give up. And on top of that, he gave her harsh and open advice. Even though he had not become upset when being suddenly rejected, he lost his temper. “You, if you have a person you like, you shouldn’t have accepted to go for a meal with me, right?”

“I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t getting myself too well…”

“So even if you’d gone out with me, you’d have broken up halfway, wouldn’t you? That’s rude to me.”

“I’m very sorry.”

“Please apologize more; I’m requesting a formal apology. I hate this kind of thing the most.”

“I’m very sorry. Next time, I will treat you to sweets. Would you go with me to Café Magnolia?”

“Eh, that one-month-wait place?” His attitude abruptly mitigated.

“Yesterday, I tried going with a friend and it was really good, and my friend and I finished a three-level cake stand!”

“‘A three-level cake stand’…”

“You also get free seconds of black tea.”

“That’s tempting…”

“Seriously, it feels like that sugar content deals you a physical blow, and it’s the best. The shop itself is also wonderful. It’s hard for a guy to go there by himself, right?”

As both rid themselves of the part of them that was being cautious of the other, they indeed talked quite some. Chris could not deny the feeling of becoming thoroughly distressed, but was a gentleman until the very end.

They ate the dessert, had an after-meal tea, and afterward, they passed by Chris’s shop, where he created a perfume fitting of Cattleya from scratch. The shop had a good air to it, to the point she wanted all of the lined-up products. Perhaps she could have had a future working there, but the one who had crushed it was Cattleya herself.

Making arrangements regarding the next day they would meet, they parted ways by evening.

“Manager, did you get dumped again? Why’d you make friends with the girl that rejected you?”

“Shut up.”

Hearing the exchange between Chris and a clerk before the shop’s door closed, Cattleya let slip a giggle.

 

As the blue sky merged with the sunset, Cattleya was crossing a bridge said to be the oldest of Leiden. Having an extensive view of both the city and the sea, the place granted the best sight. Lovers were leaning onto each other’s shoulders and enjoying the scenery from the bridge. There was also an elderly couple walking an old dog. Amongst them, Cattleya alone strode in high and proud spirits.

——Tomorrow, I’ll give President Hodgins a notification of leave.

Walking with five-centimeter heels, her feet were making lighter footstep sounds than that morning.

——Even if that guy makes a fuss, I’ll ask him the reason why he didn’t tell me about it.

She felt as if she had become unbound by anything.

——I’ll look for him, find him and tell him that I like him.

She would not mind being rejected. That man was at least supposed to let her say it.

“Like. You,” as she tried mustering it out in a low voice, she became contented. “Like. You.” Drifting away from the people going past her, she was not embarrassed of talking to herself. “Like. You. Like… you.”

Only carriages and cars passed by her side.

“‘Benedict, I…”

Her own shadow strolled with dance-like steps.

“…like you’.”

Those were the only things supposed to be beside her.

“You, what’re you doing?”

Suddenly, a motorcycle riding right by her side entered her field of vision. Much like a mishmash of garbage, the motorcycle had a strange frame. It was not something from that continent.

Cattleya moved her gaze lethargically. Slightly burned by the Sun, sandy-blond hair was visible. So were androgynous facial features. Except, they felt somewhat manlier than before.

“Ah~… by the way, long time no see. Been doing well?” His voice was rough and a little peevish yet strong-willed. “I was going back just now. I thought it might be you and followed after, but…”

Cattleya wordlessly stood bolt upright. Her face was completely red.

“What… was that… just now?”

Once she saw his shy expression as he scratched his cheek with a finger, she reached her limit. She forgot about her determination to go meet him and confess. Everything blew off and she broke into a run from the spot at full speed.

“Eh, hey! Hey, stupid woman!”

——This is the worst, this is the worst, this is the worst!

The five-centimeter heels had been the right choice. If she were with nine-centimeter ones, it would have been the death of her feet.

——What do I do?! Where should I kill myself?!

Her head was deranging from the embarrassment.

——Sh-Should I kill him? Would that be faster?

She could hear the sounds of the motorcycle chasing her. Although she wanted to run faster, the cache-cœur​one-piece coiled around her body, making the wind resistance strenuous.

“Cattleya!”

There was also no way that a human being could win against a motorcycle, and so it seemed her arm was going to be grabbed by the moment he overtook her. Not wanting to be caught no matter what, Cattleya changed her course and headed to the bridge’s handrail.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!”

She threw away her clutch bag. She also took off her shoes. Without caring about her long legs showing from underneath the hem of her one-piece, she climbed onto the railing. Crouching, she turned toward him. “I’ll kill you if you come here!”

“You’re the one who’ll die!”

That was their first exchange upon reuniting. Being himself, Benedict also seemed to be losing composure, but spread out both of his arms as to accept her. Seeing that, Cattleya bit her lip.

——Aah, how happy those arms would make me if this were a different situation.

Now they were nothing but an obstacle hindering her suicide attempt.

“Calm down; quit trying to die and to kill me.”

Cattleya shook her head as though to say she was unwilling. “Did you hear what I said earlier?”

“I did.”

“Wait, let’s redo this. When I ask you if you heard it… tell me you didn’t… please.”

“Got it. Ask one more time.”

“Did you hear what I said earlier?”

“It’s the part where you said that you liked me, right?”

“GEEZ~~~~~~!”

He caught her as she flailed her arms. If she were an ordinary girl, he would have secured her and it would have ended there.

“You’re on.”

But Cattleya Baudelaire was not.

“Ouch, ouch—ow, ow, ow, ow!”

“Let. Go. Of. Me!”

Cattleya was the physically stronger one. She bent the inner side of the arm that had been grasped and started striking with a twist.

“Stupid woman! Stupidly strong woman!”

“I know I am!”

“Why’re you running away? I don’t get it! You like…”

“I don’t like you, I don’t like you, I don’t like you!”

“I get it! Stop! I get it already! I’ll leave it as that for now, so seriously, stop applying force for a bit!”

Her movements ceased completely. As Benedict let go, Cattleya did not get off the railing but sat back down.

“Don’t glare, don’t glare.” His eyes locked with Cattleya’s teary ones. Benedict was finally able to look straight at the colleague that he had not seen in a while.

She was dressed in a way that he could instantaneously tell she was off-duty. More adult-like than usual, she had her luster remarkably intensified. She was wearing a fragrance that had the scent of greenery, which had rubbed on her from Chris. It was obvious that she was back from a date.

Whatever Benedict thought of it, he burst out laughing, “Hahah, you… I really don’t understand you.”

“What’s with that…?”

“Hey, I get it already. Let’s talk in peace for a bit. How was the company while I was out? Weren’t there any weird incidents or something? How’re Old Man and V?”

Cattleya replied with puckered lips, “Not really. Everyone’s doing fine. President Hodgins and Violet, too.”

“And you?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“That so? I think you got thinner, though.”

As she had actually lost weight, Cattleya was surprised.

“Hey~, were you lonely, even if just a little?”

Silence.

“Y’know, not even a wild animal would glare like that.”

“I definitely don’t wanna tell the guy who didn’t say anything to me that I was lonely!” She attempted to kick him with a bare foot, yet she swung and missed.

Benedict climbed onto the railing and sat on it as though to line up with Cattleya.

——Smells of earth.

She could sense the scent of him, which changed depending on the day.

“I ended up coming back ‘cause I was lonely,” Benedict whispered with a falsely energetic voice. “I went looking for someone for a bit. But I seriously have no clues so I really just went in circles. I also used most of the money I’d earned from the company and now I nearly haven’t got a single penny. Even it’s a continent that I used to live in, I’ve got next to no acquaintances over there… so I ki~nda started thinking that I wanted to hurry back home and stuff like that…”

Having never seen that side of his, Cattleya was in a trance, forgetting to close her mouth.

“In the end, even though the places I went to weren’t any good, I was able to gather a little info, so I’m thinking of going there again when I save up more money. Well, it’s also a mystery whether or not she’s in that continent in the first place…”

Silence.

“Ah, it’s my little sister. I’m looking for her. By the way, say something.”

“You had a little sister?”

“Oh, I did. I definitely did.”

“Did she run away from home? I did too, though…”

“No, it’s more like we lived separated. You, is it okay for you not to go back? Your parents must be worried.”

“Impossible. I’m me, so… it’s hard. Enough of my matters. So, are you returning to the company?”

“Yeah. I don’t have any other place to go back to.”

——I see, Cattleya thought.

Benedict would return. That alone made her incredibly happy.

“That so? Saves the trouble.”

She was truly glad. Leaving aside the fact she was currently in an embarrassing situation, she was honestly happy for just that much.

“Welcome home,” she wound up saying, smiling naturally. “Don’t go away all of a sudden anymore, ‘kay?”

——I like you, after all.

Perhaps that feeling of hers…

“‘Cause I was about to try looking for you.”

…had seeped out.

A slightly strong wind gusted, her long dark hair getting on her face. “You’ve ended up unfolding a foolish-looking escape number, but isn’t it about time to get off the handrail?” suggested the serenity of the cold wind.

“Hey.” She was about to say, “Shall we get off?” but saw him raising his hand. Beyond it, she also saw a face that she had never witnessed from Benedict.

Her dark hair was caught in his fingertips. While pushing its way through, his approaching palm drew near her. It was not even a second later that their faces connected with one another.

——His hand is moving, but…

She could not bring herself to flee, push him away or anything of the sort. As their faces rubbed onto each other’s, she sensed something wet. Rather than the feeling of “Why are you doing something like this?”, what she thought about was, “Why are you crying?”.

“If I disappeared… would you look for me?” His face had distanced from hers, but the hand that had come close to her cheek firmly reached out to her back and she became incapable of running off. “Hey, would you?” His rough and slightly peevish, yet strong-willed voice had changed into one that sounded as if he were so lonesome that he had become unable to endure it and was holding back from sobbing.

“Took me three months to work up the resolve for it, but if this ever happens again, I’ll go look for you.”

Benedict Blue’s three-month journey might have been something far more arduous than she had thought, Cattleya finally perceived. He was truly so, so lonely. Thus, he came back to the city that had already become his homeland and to the people in it.

“Even if you didn’t know where I’d go to?”

For the time being, she would leave aside what he had done to her. It might have been trouble for her, but she did not take it as cruelty.

“You’re an idiot, so I think you’d definitely leave clues somewhere.”

Right now, it was certain that she should listen to what he had to say.

“I—What if I – what if, y’know – were living life having forgotten about you?”

“Eh, I’d cry…”

“You’d cry?”

“I would. Like normal. But if I could bring you back, I’d do it. I mean, the President would be sad too.”

“I… wonder if he misses me. He was making an okay face when sending me off.”

“One more cactus appeared in President’s room while you were gone, and that’s ‘cause he named it Benedict. He’s lonely enough that he seems about to buy himself a dog with the name Benedict or something one of these days.”

“Don’t lie…”

“It’s not a lie. Let’s go to the company now. There’s a cactus on his desk, I tell you. Everyone’s seen him going, ‘Benedict, grow on’ when watering it.”

“Kuku. That’s a lie, ain’t it?”

“Hey, c’mon. Let’s go. I was thinking of going home, but since you’re here, I wanna go to the office.”

“Hn~, just a bit more.” The strength of the arm that was holding Cattleya became even firmer.

If she thought of shaking it off, she would be able to, but by the looks of it, she would turn into just a girl when she was in front of that man. She wondered if she still had a piece of her mind to give about him doing such things to her. She did not, but even if she had, she would want to kill it off.

——Well, I guess… that can be after this heat cools down a tad more.

Cattleya herself also wanted to stay like that a bit longer.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

“I said ‘welcome home’.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t ‘yeah’ me.”

“I’m back.”

“Well done.”

——If I’m going to be in a relationship, let it be with liking you as the only reason for it.

“Benedict, you know, I…”

That alone was good enough.

——If it’s not just for that, I don’t want it.